Response to UnNaked’s Meme

I thought it will be nice if you all read the response UnNaked gave to my “Psychic Tag”

I dont know how he came about that but I’d like to note that 95% of what he said is actually true.

Funny isn’t it? Actually its amazing how we humans subconciously give answers to questions without knowing that someone else could actually read “in-between-the-lines”

My Everyday Harrasment

Since the motorcycle ban in Calabar, it has become very difficult for me to go out, and visit friends. I was trekking down to the bus stop (where I could get a bus or taxi to my destination). I got there and stood waiting for the next available bus/taxi.

While waiting, there was a guy (looks middle-aged) standing right beside me. He spoke to me (Until he did, I didn’t even notice him before then)

Here is the conversation that went on between me and him:

Guy: Fine girl please excuse me

Me: Yes? How may I help you?

Guy: (Speaking in Pidgin English now and gradually walking away asking me to follow him) Come first make I tell you something

Me: “see me see trouble o” What is it that you have to say that you can’t say unless I follow you?

Guy: Ok, leave now since you no want make I help you

Me: Hissing seriously. (Imagine the sick ass nymph)

Imagine if I had been stupid enough to follow this sick idiot, I wonder what would have become of me, I probably would have regretted ever going out that night if I succumbed to his tactics.

This is how most girls get missing every day and parents would begin to worry about them and even cry when their wards fail to show up. May God help us.

This second conversation was between me and another silly guy who thought we ladies are now empty brains.

(I am walking on the street now and he passes by)

Stranger: Excuse me please

Me: yea? (Am actually thinking he wants to ask for directions to a place or something)

Stranger: Good afternoon

Me: Good afternoon? (With a questioning look on my face)

Stranger: My name is David* please what’s yours? (Names have been changed)

Me: (Getting angry now as I have been standing in the scourging sun for minutes with a worthless mungu) you stopped me all because you wanted to know my name?

Stranger: Yes. I just want to know you. Actually I like you and I want to be your boyfriend.

Me: (Furious now) you are such an idiot (I begin to walk away. Funny enough, he follows me)

Stranger: Please wait now, I just feel like to know you

Me: (thinking out loud, this sick ass mofo can’t even speak damn good English)

To end this embarrassment, I had to take a wrong turn, enter a shop even when I had no cash on me, the idiot actually waited, but then he got tired and left. You have no idea how relieved I was.

A few days back, I was going on my own to only God knows where. Ok I think I remember I needed to replace the batteries of my mp3 player. There I was looking good in my jeans and fitted top.

I walk into the shop and ask the guy selling to give me finger batteries, one man walks in, sees me and begins to smile as if he was being paid to advertise his dirty teeth for close up to come clean him up.

He says:

Him: (rubbing my hand gently) my wife how are you?

Me: (Highly irritated) Shameless old man

This things has been re-occurring recently and believe me it hasn’t been funny at all. I can’t even walk on the road without being bugged by an idiot who doesn’t know where to start from to shape his life.

I guess thats the price you have to pay for being beautiful. May God help us.