Sexual Abuse - The Girl Child
During the last years one has come across a number of cases of sexual abuse and rape of female child with the victim’s age ranging from 3 to 13 years. Every time a case is heard or reported in the newspaper, the issue gets media attention for a week or so and then the case gets forgotten. Many a time the person goes free or is given out a penalty and simple punishment of 3-4 years of imprisonment. These incidents appear in the media almost every day.
The crimes against these innocent kids who become the targets of diseased individuals are the most deplorable. It usually kills the child or if alive leaves the girl to exist with this mental trauma through out her life. The anguish and helplessness felt by the parents who hold themselves responsible to protect the child cannot be described.
When sexual abuse has occurred, a child can develop a variety of distressing feelings, thoughts and behaviors. Sexually abused children end up becoming child abusers or prostitutes, or have other serious problems when they reach adulthood. Therefore this problem needs to be dealt with firmly taking into account all these perspectives.
Child sexual abuse has been reported up to several times a year, but the number of unreported instances is far greater, because the children are afraid to tell anyone what has happened. The problem should be identified, the abuse stopped, and the child should receive professional help. The long-term emotional and psychological damage of sexual abuse can be devastating to the child.
The girl-child is discriminated against from the earliest stages of life, through her childhood and into adulthood. In some areas of the world, men outnumber women. The reasons for this discrepancy include harmful attitudes and practices, such as female genital mutilation, son preference, early marriage, violence against women, sexual exploitation, sexual abuse, human trafficking, discrimination against girls in food allocation and other practices related to health and well-being. As a result, fewer girls than boys survive into adulthood.
Girls are often treated as inferior to boys, both within the home and by society. They are often referred to as the weak sex which undermines their self-esteem and their ability to reach their full potentials. The number of high rates of school-drop-outs in female child is high. Because of this they are often careless and sometimes irresponsible. However poverty as also contributed much in it forcing most girls at a very tender age to resort to petty crimes and commercial sex for survival. The girl-child abuse has for long gained the attention of various levels of government in the country. But efforts made by these governments have yielded little or no result.
Most parents are unable to carry out their responsibilities to their children. Especially those who are heavy drinkers often neglect their children which in turn make the child feel unwanted and lonely. Child neglect could also be as a result of lack of parenting skills due to early marriage, inability to plan, low self-esteem, social isolation and excessive consumption of alcohol.
An abuser may use a different tactics to gain access to a child, exert power and control over her, and prevent her from telling anyone. A girl who is being abused is sometimes in a position of dependence on the person who is abusing her. It may happen once or it may occur in a repeated and escalating pattern over a period of months or years or it may change form over time. An abused child may endure for a long time before telling any one what is happening.
The unequal burden of being female begins at birth and continues throughout childhood.
There are many reasons why abuse may remain hidden. An abuser may manipulate, bribe, coerce or threaten a child (or someone they love) to prevent them from telling anyone about the abuse. Depending on their age and stage of development the child may feel ashamed and want to keep the abuse secret to avoid being stigmatized or have their sexual identity questioned.
Individuals who witness or suspect that a child is being abused may not report it because they want to avoid the demands of becoming “involved”
A Noble Laureate once said we are guilty of many errors and many faults, but our worst crime is abandoning our children, neglecting the fountain of life. Many of the things we need can wait. The child cannot. Right now is the time when his/her bones are being formed; his/her blood is being made… To him/her we cannot answer “Tomorrow.” His/her name is “Today”.
January 30, 2008 at 2:04 pm
This is the best post on Girl Child Abuse I have read on Nigerian blogs.
As a former program consultant for the UNICEF and I knew about the issues, I am disappointed that the Nigerian authorities have failed to address the problem.
Good post.
Cheers and God bless.
March 26, 2008 at 8:49 pm
This Report means so much to me! I have a friend that used to be abused and it means alot to me that some one cares as much as i do. that friend of mine is dead now, she commited suicide at age 12. i am now 14 years old and I still have nght mares about her crying at my house, just after another incedent.
April 10, 2008 at 5:41 am
This blog means a lot to me, as a survivor of child sexual abuse from the age of five. I can’t put into words how much it has affected me. I’m 18 now and honestly, my abuse has cast a shadow the length of a lifetime. Its like it poisons everything. From the age of five I saw the world from a view I believe no-one should ever have to see the world from. I’d like to correct what was said above, not all abuse victims go on to offend themselves or be prostitutes. Some do, yes. Not all. As a survivor who has many survivor friends of all types of sexual assault all aroumd the world, I can say, it’s not so much about the experience itself, but about the harrowing psychological effects. Everyday is fight of some sort. Constant inner civil war. Sexuality is warped, for me, linked to shame, fear and other negative emotions and thats a very real and painful thing to deal with. Battling a severely distorted perspective is so draining. Having an intense hatred for myself, being filled head to toe with shame, debilitating fear and just the worst possible thoughts and feelings which are misdirected towards myself and not being able to shake that no matter how much anyone tells me it wasn’t my fault. And like you say, most victims keep quiet about the abuse. I’m one of those. My family still doesn’t know. For so many many reasons I don’t even understand I just am not able to tell them. I have this whole large part of my life, the real me, the secret which I hide so desperately from everyone, you find your almost living a lie. For me, hiding from everyone is the norm. I’m drowning in nightmares, depression, insomnia, feeling worthless, extreme shame, fear, confusion, false guilt, pain, EVERYTHING! and I can’t ask for help. Smiles are like bandaids. Smiling and joking doesn’t attract attention and I’m so good at it, no one would ever guess I’m dying on the inside, that i feel like there’s poison flowing through my veins. And with most victims this is such a vicious cycle. It is soo normal to feel so deeply lonely and misunderstood. No matter how much you wanna scream help me please!!, the shame and fear are so well established as a prison. Trust is shattered with everyone. It’s such an effort to let go of the fear that poeple are out to hurt you of f*** you over in some way. Urgh it just taints everything…trying to beleive God (or anyone could love you), would even want anything to do with you when you see yourself as damaged or tampered goods, but then at the same time, wondering how God could let something like that happen to you.. How He could see how much it would pain and hurt it would put you through for the rest of your life and still ‘let’ it happen. And to find a way to melt your shame and pain away, you turn to cutting, sleeping around (what the heck your tarnished anyway?), emotinal self harm, urgh just so many many things.
Anyway I’m rambling too much now, i’ll stop. Just stumbled across this blog verrryyy randomly, but it’s good to know that more and more people out there becoming aware that this is a very real, despairing and heinous crime going on in Nigeria. I can’t put into words the power of child sexual abuse (or any type of sexual assault for that matter). It’s the only crime in the world in which the victim and not the perpetrator, goes on trial for the rest of their life. Bringing awareness of this and protecting potential victims and survivors is a cause i’ve deicated my life to to.
Anyway…best wishes to you all. God bless.xx